theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
