i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
