you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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