We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Houston, we have a squirter
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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