lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
