He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
