Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
honey bunches of taint.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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