Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
