It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish you could order shots online.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
