Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
