Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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