Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this boner is exhausting
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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