She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
