he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I party with great urgency now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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