How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
