just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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