Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MIDGETS
????
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
