Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
