I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
