who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
