Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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