Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
