They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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