i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
