I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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