Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
