yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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