he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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