Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
