she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
