oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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