how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Someone shit on the floor
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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