btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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