I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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