So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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