Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
