i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Randomize
