So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
