Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize