Dignity is for republicans.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
