Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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