im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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