He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
