oh god the rape fog is back!
I skipped work to stalk him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize