Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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