I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
