Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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