just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
