these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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