what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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