Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
