Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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