I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ugly people sure do ruin things
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
