I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
