The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
