I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
