she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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