I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize