God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
