Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize