whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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