can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize