You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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