so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
