im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
