I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize