If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
