How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
