No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
