somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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