This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
