"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
