We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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