shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she told me i tasted like america
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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