someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize