I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
