Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
