Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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